man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
