A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
