i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I deserve this hangover.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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