God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
