"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
