I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
