You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you win again, gameday.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
