I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
