I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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