I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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