We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
