It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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