Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
