I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sext me about skeletons
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
