just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
