bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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