There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
