I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
