Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
