Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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