I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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