Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
