Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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