he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize