My liver just broke up with me...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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