you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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