Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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