i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
