sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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