ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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