Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
