You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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