yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
