do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
