i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Green mimosas i think yes
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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