I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
not ubering you a puppy
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
