Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
