C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
