well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
