Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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