we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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