Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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