I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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