he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
