The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
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