I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize