Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Your penis caused this!
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