I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
