so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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