Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize