Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
