i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
