dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
