Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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