____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
