Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So squirting runs in the family.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's rum buckets o'clock
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
