But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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