Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
