yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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